I AM AWKWARD

Note to future husband:
I am super awkward when i am put on the spot...
& I get super nervous when I am asked out without any signs alluding to a possible date..

HAHA..

*sigh*.. It is a proven FACT that I get asked out by the most random men.. oh well.. at least it adds entertainment value to my life (:

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."
- Wayne Gretzky


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**edit (2:27 am)

ps: why am i so much more productive at night? it throws everything off ):

Brenton Brown - Jesus, You are Worthy

read, reflect, then listen...

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Jesus you are mercy, Jesus you are justice
Jesus you are worthy that is what you are
You died alone to save me, You rose so You could raise me
You did this all to make me a chosen child of God

Worthy is the Lamb that once was slain
To receive all glory power and praise
For with your blood you purchased us for God
Jesus you are worthy, that is what you are

Perfect sacrifice crushed by God for us
bearing in your hurt all that i deserve
misjudged for my misdeeds You suffered silently
the only guiltless man in all of history

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The one to whom we pray knows our feelings.
He knows temptation. He has felt discouraged.
He has been hungry and sleepy and tired.
He knows what we feel like when the alarm goes off.
He knows what we feel like when our children want different things at the same time.
He nods in understanding when we pray in anger.
He is touched when we tell Him there is more to do than can ever be done.
He smiles when we confess our weariness.
He, too, was human.
He wants us to know that He, too, knew the drone of the humdrum and the weariness that comes with long days.
He wants us to remember that our trailblazer didn't wear bulletproof vests or rubber gloves or an impenetrable suit of armour.
No, He pioneered our salvation through the world that you and I face daily.
He became flesh and dwelt among us.

-Max Lucado

Brooke Fraser - Soon

Soon and very soon
My King is coming
Robed in righteousness
And crowned with love
When I see Him, I
shall be made like Him
Soon and very soon
Soon and very soon
I’ll be going
To the place He has prepared for me
There my sin erased
My shame forgotten
Soon and very soon

I will be with the One I love
With unveiled face I’ll see
There my soul will be satisfied
Soon and very soon

Soon and very soon
See the procession
The angels and the elders
’round the throne
At His feet I’ll lay my crown, my worship
Soon and very soon

Though I have not seen Him
My heart knows Him well
Jesus Christ the Lamb
The Lord of Heaven

since embedding is not allowed...
click HERE to listen (:

researching and writing about Euripides and Sophocles works was NOT what I signed up for ):
*sigh*

i need to befriend an english/ classics major..

He chose you.

I HAVE TO GO!!!

I've been sitting in the starbucks near my house for the past 4 hours, and I have consumed 3 grande beverages.
Needless to say, I need to pee REALLY BADLY now..
However, I don't want to leave my possessions unattended, nor do I want to use their dirty bathrooms.
SO... being the stubborn person I am, i'm going to bike home in the freezing cold now.. and hope I don't pee in my pants..
ahhhh... hahah
just thought the world should know (:

& an interesting fact for everyone:
apparently holding your pee makes you colder because your body wastes its energy warming it instead of your body!

hot pot would be SO AWESOME right about now (:
mmmmmm!

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong, a perfect plea:
A great High Priest, whose name is Love,
Who ever lives and pleads for me.

My name is graven on his hands,
My name is written on his heart;
I know that while in heaven he stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair,
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look, and see him there
Who made an end of all my sin.

Because a sinless Savior died,
My sinful soul is counted free;
For God, the Just, is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me
To look on Him and pardon me

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Praise the One,
Risen Son of God!

Behold him there, the risen Lamb
My perfect, spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I am,
The King of glory and of grace!

One in himself, I cannot die
My soul is purchased by his blood
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ, my Savior and my God
With Christ, my Savior and my God

- Shane & Shane's Version

"This hard place in which you perhaps find yourself is the very place in which God is giving you opportunity to look only to Him, to spend time in prayer, and to learn long-suffering, gentleness, meakness - in short, to learn the depths of the love that Christ has poured out on all of us."
- Elisabeth Elliot

happiness will find me

bruno mars on single song loop.

I was carrying two fairly heavy bags home today, so i decided that it would be a good idea to sit down on the subway because my back was starting to hurt.
The subway car filled up quickly, but as I sat down, I saw an old man walk into my car.
No one offered him a seat close to the door, so I stood up to offer him mine, ensuring that he made it to the seat without falling.
Although, he didn't speak english, I could tell he was appreciative by the way he nodded and smiled at me.
I smiled back and pulled out an article that I had to read.
Shortly after I started reading, he tapped my hand and gestured to me.
At first I wasn't sure of what he was saying, but I quickly figured that he was offering to hold my bags on his lap for the duration of the trip.
I obviously didn't take him up on his offer.
BUT.. i thought it was cute for him to even offer
and i figured that by sharing, i would be a nice reminder for us all.

It's so rare that we encounter kind hearted people nowadays.
Everyone is so consumed with their lives, rushing from one place to another.
We forget...
to stop thinking about ourselves,
and consider others for a moment.
To stop worrying about the future,
and to appreciate today.
To stop,
and just breathe...

Happy (Belated) Thanksgiving Everyone!

I can't believe Thanksgiving this year has come and gone so quickly!

Since this year has been the year of change, and thanksgiving was no exception.
Initially, when I received this e-mail

I thought to myself, oh that's too bad, I have never really liked turkey anyway, and continued to joke about the CANCELLATION OF THANKSGIVING with my sister. Retrospectively, I am a little sad that our family didn't have a huge dinner and get-together this year. However, I am thankful for the humble gathering of both friends and family over Bee's baby shower, followed by pseudo- thanksgiving-chinese-take-out-dinner on Thanksgiving Sunday!

Anyway, upon further reflection, I have come up with my top 7 things that I am thankful for this year..

7. Money & Possessions
HA! I know it sounds extremely vain and selfish to start my list of things that I am thankful for with money and possessions, but hear me out. Despite this not being the first year I have been able to share the things God has blessed me with with others, it is the first year that I am doing it with greater passion and enjoyment. Before, giving was almost like a purging and cleansing ritual for me, where I had the opportunity to give all the things I didn't really use or want away. However, I have been blessed with the opportunity to serve/partner with various communities groups, non-profit organizations, churches and friends in their ministries. Jesus taught us to give and love with all our hearts, and to treat others like we would treat Jesus. And all I can say is it is TRULY more a blessing to give than to receive (Acts 20:35)!

6. Home
Although my house is not the most welcoming place due to it's location and coldness, it has been a place where the most significant people in my life gather to share memories. I sometimes like to think that my closest friends are the ones who are willing to drive all the way up here to bunny, deer & tree country to visit me. When I first moved into this house, I really missed my old one, because of all the memories it held, and the various features like hardwood floor that felt more conducive to living, however, I have really come to enjoy this house and all it has to offer (like renovation skills - watch out future husband, I am going to be handiest wife ever!)

5. Job
There is no doubt that I have been incredibly blessed with my jobs, both past and present. I think I may even have a record for how many jobs I have acquired without dressing up or submitting a cover letter/ resume! For those who have heard the story of the way God has graciously given me the job that I currently hold, you know exactly how strong the power of prayer is, and how his provisions never fail us. (If I haven't told you formally, feel free to ask - I love sharing it). But as much as I am thankful for this job, there has been much prayer regarding where God is calling me in my future. So readers stay tuned, because where I will be this September may not be where I expected to go all along - all will be revealed through prayers (:

4. School
I know I constantly complain about how bad York is compared to U of T. And although I still believe that U of T's standards are more respectable, I do know that when I was at U of T, I constantly complained as well. So now I am taking the time to be thankful for the opportunity to even be in school, as well as the time that it has provided me to consider what I should do with my life in the future. Looking back, it is quite ironic to see how God has used York to humble me, and show me that God controls all aspects of my life, but I will continue to be thankful for My Lord's provisions and governance.

3. Friends
There is no doubt that I have an impeccable group of friends. I do understand that sometimes I am a little over the top, but I thank you for baring with me when I need to talk, or even going out on late night food adventures with me. Every one of you has blessed me with your presence, care, encouragement, and support, especially in this past year, when I dealt with what felt like every disappointment under the sun. It was your prayers that helped me refocus on God will for my life.

2. Small Groups.
At the beginning of the year, I prayed for God to have a stronger presence in my life, especially in the area of spiritual support and accountability. I knew that even though I was attending church, and a school fellowship when I "could afford it", I needed to seek out a physical place of comfort that extended beyond my school life. Honestly, It has been a long while since I have earnestly committed to a small group/fellowship, but I am thankful to say that God has blessed me with not one, but TWO small groups where I have received the opportunity to study His Holy word at least once a week through newly forged and strengthened old relationships.

1. Family
I know everyone loves their family very much, and it almost seems like the default answer when we go around talking about all the blessings we have in our lives. But I am truly thankful for my family.
For my parents, who constantly support and encourage me to explore various things in life, while providing me with their stories and life experiences (which usually come in the form of funny stories, which are just great for entertainment as well).
For my sister, brother and nephew, who are understanding of my life situations, as well as the most caring and hospitable people to me. You guys have helped me through so much and I'll miss my "out" when you guys move to Australia but i won't miss you enough to not fight you for house space (since apparently it is up for grabs) when you return.. hehe... <3


Anyway, there it is.
My top 7.
But let's not let the thanksgiving end here, let us continue to be thankful and grateful to God for all the blessings be has bestowed upon us!

praying for my uncle..

Open Your Door, Open Your Heart
by Max Lucado

Long before the church had pulpits and baptisteries, she had kitchens and dinner tables. "The believers met together in the Temple every day. They ate together in their homes, happy to share their food with joyful hearts" (Acts 2:46 NCV). "Every day in the Temple and in people's homes they continued teaching the people and telling the Good News—that Jesus is the Christ" (Acts 5:42 NCV).

Even a casual reading of the New Testament unveils the house as the primary tool of the church. "To Philemon our beloved friend and fellow laborer . . . and to the church in your house" (Philem. vv. 1-2). "Greet Priscilla and Aquila . . . the church that is in their house" (Rom. 16:3, 5). "Greet the brethren who are in Laodicea, and Nymphas and the church that is in his house" (Col. 4:15).

It's no wonder that the elders were to be "given to hospitality" (1 Tim. 3:2 KJV). The primary gathering place of the church was the home. Consider the genius of God's plan. The first generation of Christians was a tinderbox of contrasting cultures and backgrounds. At least fifteen different nationalities heard Peter's sermon on the Day of Pentecost. Jews stood next to Gentiles. Men worshipped with women. Slaves and masters alike sought after Christ. Can people of such varied backgrounds and cultures get along with each other?

We wonder the same thing today. Can Hispanics live in peace with Anglos? Can Democrats find common ground with Republicans? Can a Christian family carry on a civil friendship with the Muslim couple down the street? Can divergent people get along?

The early church did—without the aid of sanctuaries, church buildings, clergy, or seminaries. They did so through the clearest of messages (the Cross) and the simplest of tools (the home).

Not everyone can serve in a foreign land, lead a relief effort, or volunteer at the downtown soup kitchen. But who can't be hospitable? Do you have a front door? A table? Chairs? Bread and meat for sandwiches? Congratulations! You just qualified to serve in the most ancient of ministries: hospitality. You can join the ranks of people such as . . .

Abraham. He fed, not just angels, but the Lord of angels (Gen. 18).
Rahab, the harlot. She received and protected the spies. Thanks to her kindness, her kindred survived, and her name is remembered (Josh. 6:22-23; Matt. 1:5).
Martha and Mary. They opened their home for Jesus. He, in turn, opened the grave of Lazarus for them (John 11:1-45; Luke 10:38-42).
Zacchaeus. He welcomed Jesus to his table. And Jesus left salvation as a thank-you gift (Luke 19:1-10).
And what about the greatest example of all—the "certain man" of Matthew 26:18? On the day before his death, Jesus told his followers, "Go into the city to a certain man and tell him, 'The Teacher says: The chosen time is near. I will have the Passover with my followers at your house'"
(NCV).

How would you have liked to be the one who opened his home for Jesus? You can be. "Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me" (Matt. 25:40 NIV). As you welcome strangers to your table, you are welcoming God himself.

Something holy happens around a dinner table that will never happen in a sanctuary. In a church auditorium you see the backs of heads. Around the table you see the expressions on faces. In the auditorium one person speaks; around the table everyone has a voice. Church services are on the clock. Around the table there is time to talk.

Hospitality opens the door to uncommon community. It's no accident that hospitality and hospital come from the same Latin word, for they both lead to the same result: healing. When you open your door to someone, you are sending this message: "You matter to me and to God." You may think you are saying, "Come over for a visit." But what your guest hears is, "I'm worth the effort."

Cheerfully share your home with those who need a meal or a place to stay. God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.
(1 Peter 4:9-10 NLT)

Heavenly Father, you have given me so much—every breath I take is a gift from your hand. Even so, I confess that sometimes my own hand remains tightly closed when I encounter the needs of others. Please open both my hand and my heart that I might learn to delight in taking advantage of the daily opportunities for hospitality that you present to me. Help me remember, Lord, that when I show your love in tangible ways to "the least of these," I am ministering directly to you. As you help me open my heart and hand, O Lord, I ask that you also prompt me to open my door to those who need a taste of your love and bounty. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Would you?

A friend just sent me this a few minutes ago...
it's convicting.. give it a watch!



"we are just privileged to answer His call"
So true... (:

Here I am complaining about it being too cold when children are dying..
forgive me...

13 and freezing!

i'm not sure why, but my parents don't like turning on the heat.
it is so cold in my house it is ridiculous..
WHO LIVES in a THIRTEEN DEGREE HOUSE?!
As soon as i got home, i brushed my teeth, changed into pajamas, and jumped into bed.
This probably explains my (bad) habit of doing things in bed (like homework, and eating.. )

oh well.. thank goodness for HOT CHILLYS!
haha (:

Change

For those who know me, I am not a person who likes big changes because I like doing things a certain way.

I always eat my burgers with the same condiments
I always try to sit in the same subway car
I always end up at the same restaurants

This may be a combination of fear that other things outside of my norm will be sub-par, but it also is just the easiest default when I simply am tired of thinking for the day, after all, it's easier not having to make unnecessary choices when you already know what has proven successful in the past. But I am slowly realizing the joys of change.

Being a christian is far opposite of this consistent lifestyle - a radical life is what you require. To be a follower of Christ, our lives should be truly transformed and shaken everyday! Jesus calls us not to be complacent in our lives, work and societies. So why are modern day christians all about making their lives comfortable and safe? We offer what is financially feasible, we serve within time constrains, and we give out of obligation. Does this strike you as wrong?

A while back in sunday school class, we were discussing the presence of the Holy Trinity throughout the Bible. Now for those who causually read the Bible, Jesus' presence is formally revealed in the New Testament. However, upon digging deeper into the word, God the Father, Son and the Holy spirit they are all active throughout! We often forget that although we do not live in biblical times that God is still working in our world today. The simple thought of miracles being something of the past encapsulates God into a small bubble, limiting his amazing works.

So let's step back and look back at why we are so fearful of moving out beyond our comfort zone, and perhaps doing something that God calls us to do like serving in ministry, or giving a little more than we can. Not only do we feel a huge disconnect between our lives, our God and the Bible stories and the God of Moses, lacking a true personal connection with God but we use excuses to disable ourselves, often feeling like we are not yet worthy of being used by God. This problem reaches far beyond prayer, beyond the tasks or obligations God "calls/commands" us to do. BUT consequently demonstrates that we also lack faith in the Holy Spirit, and his power and will to work in our lives. God wants us to ENABLED by him, ready to do his work at any time, and that requires a close relationship and understanding of God's will.

John 10:3 Encourages all of us to strive deeper into a relationship with God, as we are his sheep and he is our shepherd. We have all stubbornly doubted our Lord (John 20:25) or made claims that we have not been able to follow through on (John 21:17). But we are called to a life worthy of living, to be born again (John 3:7)

So, Investigate your life, and see how God wants you to use you or move you.
Right now, If God asked you to drop everything and follow, could you?

Join me as I embark on my challenge to change. (: