friends.
what makes a good friendship?
is a friend simply a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard? (m-w.com)
Or is friendship suppose to be more than that?

The facebook generation has skewed our understanding of friends. After all, if you confirm you know someone, it automatically affirms your friendship. Facebook says I have hundreds of friends, but with the past few days off,I have realized how limited my REAL friend count is. This got me pondering..
I have noticed that I no one to go hang out with, because everyone is consumed in their jobs. And the friends who are available, i feel some sort of hesitation to ask them to go out with me, either because I haven't talked to them in a while and I wouldn't want to be "using" them for company, or because I simply do not feel comfortable putting myself out there, asking to mend a friendship.

Here is my confession, sure I may be social and friendly in crowds and enjoy meeting up with friends every so often, but I am rarely the one to initiate plans in fear that people won't want to be with me.

That is a part of me that fears loneliness. And it is hard to admit it, but so many people out there are lonely in the same sense that I am. I know it is mostly my own fault, since I have ruined a lot of my own personal friendships just by being purely selfish, and godless. Even focusing too much on school, work, and balancing my own life to care about anyone else, after all, my priorities SHOULD be God, Me then People right? WRONG.

Making God my top priority should not mean that I spend the majority of my time in devos, reading the bible praying, then spend the second largest portion of my life on enriching the things that make me me. Giving God priority is not an issue of time. It SHOULD be allowing God to guide you and fill those gaps of loneliness in your daily life. To give him presence in all that you do, and to do things with the correct intention. God does not want to be the top priority in our lives, he wants to be the one SETTING these priorities for you.

But what does all this mean in terms of friendships? It means that just as God is love, God is friendship too. He needs a presence in your relationships. He needs to be the one guiding you through life and having control over what you say and do. God's presence is what makes a relationship strong. God grants us friends so that we can share, enrich, enjoy each others presence, be accountable, love, and pray for one another.

I would give so much to turn back time to make amends with all the "friendships" I have botched, but we know that that is not possible. The only thing I can pray for is forgiveness and the opportunity to share God's love/what I have learned since then with those that I encounter or re-encounter in this rough world.

Does my account sound familiar in your life?
Maybe not but let this serve as a reminder to give God presence in our daily lives.
However if it does, I challenge you to take a leap of faith.
Try to ask for forgiveness from previous hurts, or grant forgiveness like Jesus did.
Saying sorry, or asking for forgiveness is honestly the hardest thing to do, but think of the liberation it brings and the smile it will bring to Jesus' face (:

So to everyone out there reading this, whether I know you are reading this or not, please forgive me for my inequities, my ranting, my sins against you. I am making a change for the better in my life, and you should too! It is totally worth it (: